Where, Oh Where, Has Customer Service Gone?

I have to tell you, I am a pretty easy going guy. You can bump into me while you are stepping backwards talking on your BlueTooth to your boyfriend/girlfriend in line at the local coffee shop waiting for your triple espresso shot, decaf, non-fat, easy-whip, white-chocolate mocha frappaccino and I will forgive you...hey, we all can't know our surroundings all the time. However, total incompetence really gets under my skin. Case in point:

Robin and I go to the same Starbucks at the same time every morning; if you wanted to rob us, just wait outside the Albertson's in Burbank at 6:10 just after Ryan Seacrest calls out for the next lucky person who will get their bills paid by KIIS-FM if they call in the next 30 minutes. But I have to warn you, if you get between me and the Starbucks just inside the grocery store doors, I am not responsible for my actions.

I mention this constant variable in our schedule because it has been going on for the past 5 years. In the past 9 months, competent employees and managers have moved on and been replaced by...well, total incompetence. Names would be changed to protect the incompetent but they weren't wearing name tags.

Robin and I order the most boring and easy drinks: I with my Grande Coffee Frap, No Whip and Robin with her Grande Ice Coffee in a Venti Cup with Extra Ice. Here is the breakdown of how to make our drinks:

• Robin's - Pour coffee into a cup, add ice to the top, put a lid on it, serve to customer.
• Sean's - Pour pre-made frap mix into blender, add ice, blend, pour into cup, put a lid on it, serve to customer.

We get rewarded for spending WAY too much money at this Starbucks by using our Albertson's 'Rewards Card', where for every $75 we spend, we receive a voucher for a free coffee drink (up to $5). Robin and I average about 7 free coffees a week. Today was the day to redeem my free coffee, so to stick it to Howard Shultz I always go for the Venti. Take that you evil genius of liquid caffeine.

As we walked up to the new barista (she had been there for over a month and had served us before, but looking into her eyes I could see she was still 'new'), we asked if they were still out of Frap mix since they were out the previous day and only had Frap Lite. She looked in the fridge and said they had some, so we asked for our "usual drinks". Noticing that meant nothing to her (still), I told her our drinks, but proceeded to inform her of my free voucher and to make mine a Venti. She grabbed the cups and rang us up. This is where it gets fun.

As the charges started to appear on the screen, I noticed she charged us the Venti price for Robin's Grande. She in turn replied, "Well, it's free so it doesn't matter." After she finished laughing at her joke, she corrected her mistake and then credited us on Robin's drink. I informed her since Robin's drink is less then mine, they have always credited my drink on our bill. I was staring at the deer, all that was missing was the headlights.

After the barista took a minute or three figuring out the correct discount, Robin headed over to the 'coffee station' and checked on the whole milk. In the past, she has opened it and the smell of raw eggs permeated the air. Today, it was questionable; there was a smell, but raw eggs was replaced with sour skunktail. The barista, finishing Robin's drink (Pour coffee into a cup, add ice to the top, put a lid on it) put her drink on the counter and started mine (Pour pre-made frap mix into blender, add ice, blend, pour into cup, put a lid on it). Robin, afraid of dysentery, decided to fore go the Whole Milk and blend Half-n-Half and Lowfat Milk to try and compensate. As the barista served my drink, I noticed it looked mighty small for a Venti...because it was a Grande. Robin looked at me and asked me if I wanted to let her know she screwed up. I said no, so we turned towards the outside as I took my first caffeine hit of the morning. Our barista felt like her job was not done unless she completely ruined my order; yes, she gave me a Frap Lite.

So this is how we started this morning...trying to get charged the correct amount for a Grande Iced Coffee and a free Venti Regular Frap and getting a free Grande Frap Lite while trying to combine Half-n-Half and Lowfat Milk to make Whole Milk that doesn't smell like sour skunktail. But, hey, my coffee was free so I guess "it doesn't matter".