A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 33)
I'm PISSed...In A Good Way.
So, let me start off by saying that I have been taking audition classes from Brian Reise for about 6 months now. It has been very helpful in showing me that spending thousands of dollars for my "Theater Major" at Ohio State University was a complete waste. I hope the school likes the new wing added to Taylor Tower from my 3 1/2 year donation. "Spence Hall" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
There are many working actors in my class, and the talent level is, on average, average. There are your recent transplants to California from New York, there are the 60 year old women who have so much reconstruction that it is hard to tell if they are emoting, there are stand up comics, musicians, models...you name it. In all seriousness, most of the class is very talented and don't take this whole acting thing serious. They know it is a business and a means to make money. "Do your job and you will get paid...it isn't Shakespeare." So to see the whole class struggle last night was a shock to me.
One of my stand up comedian friends, Gena, had to do a scene from "The New Adventures of Old Christine". It was a three woman scene, and a hard one at that. Let's just say that if they had to hold for their laughs, I would still be in class till Labor Day. It was painful to watch. Another scene with a talented actor crashed and burned, but I blame the teacher on casting a 60+ woman as the Glenn Close role in "Fatal Attraction". Not the most pleasant thing to hear her say she is keeping the baby and not having an abortion. "Stop have sex, Clara Peller!!!"
Of course, we can't forget about the group of 4 guys who did a scene from "Everybody Loves Raymond". Especially the guy who played Ray's brother...poorly. Let's just say I have a newfound respect for Brad Garrett. I would say I sucked, but that wouldn't begin to explain the garbage that was being projected from my mouth. That is not saying that my fellow actors on stage with me didn't have their demons, too. Some jokes landed, but most fell flat. I just think everyone was off their game...but that is why we take class, to learn and to mess up there instead of on the set.
Driving home, contimplating a connection between the bumper of my car and every street light, I called up Robin. As we talked, she clicked on the "send/receive" button in our SBC Global email. I have to say I am beginning to believe that every cloud has that silver lining, or at least sterling silver. She began to read me the new email that had just popped into our inbox:
"Dear Sean Spence,
Congratulations! Your short, short film Lucidity has been selected for the 5th Annual Portland International Short Short Film Festival - better known as PISS Fest! This year's festival promises to be biggest and best yet. We are really excited about it and appreciate you being a part of it."
She went on to read the rules and regulations of being accepted, but I really didn't care. We were in the PISS Fest, our second acceptance into the festival circuit.
This wasn't such a bad day, after all.
So, let me start off by saying that I have been taking audition classes from Brian Reise for about 6 months now. It has been very helpful in showing me that spending thousands of dollars for my "Theater Major" at Ohio State University was a complete waste. I hope the school likes the new wing added to Taylor Tower from my 3 1/2 year donation. "Spence Hall" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
There are many working actors in my class, and the talent level is, on average, average. There are your recent transplants to California from New York, there are the 60 year old women who have so much reconstruction that it is hard to tell if they are emoting, there are stand up comics, musicians, models...you name it. In all seriousness, most of the class is very talented and don't take this whole acting thing serious. They know it is a business and a means to make money. "Do your job and you will get paid...it isn't Shakespeare." So to see the whole class struggle last night was a shock to me.
One of my stand up comedian friends, Gena, had to do a scene from "The New Adventures of Old Christine". It was a three woman scene, and a hard one at that. Let's just say that if they had to hold for their laughs, I would still be in class till Labor Day. It was painful to watch. Another scene with a talented actor crashed and burned, but I blame the teacher on casting a 60+ woman as the Glenn Close role in "Fatal Attraction". Not the most pleasant thing to hear her say she is keeping the baby and not having an abortion. "Stop have sex, Clara Peller!!!"
Of course, we can't forget about the group of 4 guys who did a scene from "Everybody Loves Raymond". Especially the guy who played Ray's brother...poorly. Let's just say I have a newfound respect for Brad Garrett. I would say I sucked, but that wouldn't begin to explain the garbage that was being projected from my mouth. That is not saying that my fellow actors on stage with me didn't have their demons, too. Some jokes landed, but most fell flat. I just think everyone was off their game...but that is why we take class, to learn and to mess up there instead of on the set.
Driving home, contimplating a connection between the bumper of my car and every street light, I called up Robin. As we talked, she clicked on the "send/receive" button in our SBC Global email. I have to say I am beginning to believe that every cloud has that silver lining, or at least sterling silver. She began to read me the new email that had just popped into our inbox:
"Dear Sean Spence,
Congratulations! Your short, short film Lucidity has been selected for the 5th Annual Portland International Short Short Film Festival - better known as PISS Fest! This year's festival promises to be biggest and best yet. We are really excited about it and appreciate you being a part of it."
She went on to read the rules and regulations of being accepted, but I really didn't care. We were in the PISS Fest, our second acceptance into the festival circuit.
This wasn't such a bad day, after all.
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