A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 34)

My Night At The Festival

I have to say that the screening of "Lucidity" at the Arclight Theater in Hollywood for the 10th Annual Los Angeles Intl. Short Film Festival should have made me nervous but I was pretty composed the whole day. I think it was because I went to work and didn't spend all day (like last year) sitting through film after film in anticipation to mine. Or, maybe, it was because I was afraid of what I was going to see on the big screen (like last year) that might make me question ever going to one of these festivals again.

Robin and I arrived at the theater about an hour and a half before our screening time of 10:00 PM. After taking some photos for prosperity, then being told that it was against the policy of the theater to take photos inside, we decided that it might be better to watch our block of films drunk, so we ponied up to the bar and ordered two $6 Corona Light beers. Trying to make sure we savored each sip, hoping that would make us feel better about squandering the amount it would take to put 4 gallons of gas in our car, we sat at the lounge by two ladies with their sons, Dante and Dylan. The ladies were extremely nice to us, and their sons were like any other 14 month olds. After countless games of 'peek-a-boo' with Dylan, we found out his mom, Annalisa, was married to the coordinator of the whole festival. She was nice enough to take one of our promotional postcards of "Lucidity", not that her husband could really do anything for us, and then it was time to head toward our theater.

We were in Theater #12, the same theater that "The Adventures of Mapboy" was screened the previous year. Hopefully, the films shown in this block would be better than those screened here 365 days prior. As we walked into the theater, we noticed that the theater was pretty empty. It was 9:45 and it looked as if only the filmmakers had shown up to see what their film looked like on the big screen. Did anyone promote their own film? Luckily, people started to fill the 250 seat theater, and by the time the moderator introduced herself and welcomed everyone, the theater was about half full. Out of everyone we invited, only one friend showed up, but by the end of our program we would have nobody in the audience.

The lights went down around 10:10 PM, and the program commenced. "Lucidity" was first to go (after a couple of commercials for the film festival). I knew I was in trouble when I saw the first frame and there was no sound. The sound came on a split second after that, but I have music prior to the first 'picture' frame, so I was a little bummed. For the rest of the 4 minute short the audience seemed involved, which was a plus for me. The credits started and I heard some comments from the men behind me ("Wasn't Lucas' first film about suicide?"). Was I being compared to George Lucas? Or maybe they have a filmmaker friend named Lucas, who knows. All of the sudden, the screen went black. The audio was still playing, but there was no more credits. I was having a flashback to last year when "Projector Light ON" was displayed over the ending credits of "Mapboy". I felt bad that the musicians and the 'special thanks' did not get recognized on the screen, but at least there weren't any problems with the film being screened. It looked great, it sounded great, and I was very happy with the way it was received by the audience.

Then I was in Hell.

Before I go on a rampage, you have to understand two things: I give credit to anyone who is willing to make a movie that is going to be judged on the big screen by their peers, and I truly want to like EVERY short film I see.

That said, the second short of the night was "Blood Ties", a UCLA Student film about...well, I am not really sure what it was about. There is a detective looking for someone for some reason in some city. After finding out that the man he is after is his father, he shoots his brother (who is his father's bodyguard) and then is killed by his father. Did I mention the uncomfortable feeling that his sister and him seem to be attracted to each other? Well, that didn't really have much to do with the storyline, anyway. Also, there was a watch which signified something. There was 15 minutes I'll never get back again.

The third film, "The Time Box", was a complete mess. Mostly "Master shots" (no close-ups and very little editing) and some of the worst acting I have ever seen. I could go on about how bad this short film was, but I don't want to waste any more of your time (unlike the 16 minutes of sanity that I lost watching this).

Then came "Pinkerton", the BEST film in our program. A story of a cop chasing a thug to the rooftop of a building. He tackles the perp, handcuffs him to the railing, takes out a gun and shoots at the stairwell behind him. After telling the criminal "You missed", he drops the gun, pulls out another and points it at the man. Then it got fun; the cops sees his childhood friend, a big costumed-character bear with purple hair named Pinkerton, who stands between him and the man who killed his partner. Telling him he should be happy because it is February and the sun is out so they should do their "Happy February Sun" dance, they begin to dance on the rooftop. All the while, the perp can't see the cops childhood friend and thinks this guy has lost it. After dancing and laughing, Pinkerton and the cop fall to the ground and share some Gingersnaps. The film then flashes back to when the cop is about to shoot the thug and decides to let him go. After uncuffing him, the thug knocks the cop down and grabs his gun. He shoots the cop 6 times, but it looks as if he missed him. The cop grabs the other gun he was going to use to frame the criminal and tells him to get out of here. We then see Pinkerton behind the cop with a trail of stuffing leading up to him. With stuffing coming out of his chest, Pinkerton tells the cop to always remember the Happy February Sun dance, then dies. The End. The audience totally enjoyed this film, and I do not understand how it was lumped with some of the films on our block.

The audience then had to suffer through "French Bomber Detective", "Transfiguration", and "The Shadow and The Mirror". Trust me, you do not want to know anything more about these films. After the audible groaning from the audience, the films were over and it was time to walk to the front for the Q and A. Before I walked up, I turned to Robin and told her that I forgot our film was even in this block. Since ours was first, and the shortest, it was hard to remember that it was even shown. It didn't help that the evening ended with garbage, too. The Q and A was uneventful, just a couple of questions were asked, and then we were in the car heading home.

I wish I could say it was a great evening and I was happy with the turnout, but it wasn't and I wasn't. Even though our film was liked, I think our film, as well as "Pinkerton", should have been screened with actual filmmakers who don't just grab a video camera from Costco and improv a movie. It kind of turns the whole festival into a farce. But that is my opinion.