A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 70)

Slowly Ruining Beautiful Memories

The actor took the DVD out of the mailbox, the red envelope a welcoming piece next to the Gas Bill and the PennySaver. Yes, NetFlix had arrived.

That night, as the wife lie beside him purring like a chainsaw, he hit the play button on the remote for the DVD Player and laid back in anticipation of the classic film he remembered..."Rosemary's Baby".

As he lay in bed hoping the suspense would finally build to the climax he had once experienced, the ending credits started to roll. Was this the end? Where was the suspense? Where was the thriller? Where the hell was the THRILL?

Why did they introduce the character of "Minnie", put her in one dramatic scene and never talk about her or what happened to her again? Was Dr. Hill in on it or just concerned that Rosemary was having PPD? When did John Cassavetes become such a bad actor?

He was beginning to question if all of the 'classic' movies he had grown to love were just a figment of his imagination. Maybe he was more impressionable in the early '80's and, knowing what he knows now, needs a film to actually have a story which makes sense and not be filled with holes. Maybe the theater training he had through college had made him overanalyze classic films to the point where they are horribly unwatchable? Maybe he could blame all of this on Quentin Tarantino?

Disheartened and full of questions, he pushed the power button on the remote. Although the TV had turned off, he continued to hold the button down. He thought maybe, just maybe, if he held it down long enough, he might be able to turn off the "new" memory of this childhood film favorite forever and all of the questions in his head would go away.

Maybe...maybe...

A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 69)

Where Has All The Talent Gone?!?!

Wow, has it really been over 2.5 years since I have been on here? Well, you think someone would have jumped on and said "Hey, what is up, dude?"

Does anyone really say "dude" anymore?

So, I will get to the reason why I decided to write again on my blog, but let me fill you in over the last couple of years:

• Spence Photography has really taken off


• I performed on my very first musical and won BEST ACTOR for the season's shows


• I wrote, directed and starred in "Special Delivery" which won BEST COMEDY at the 15 Minutes of Fame Film Festival in Palm Bay, FL. It is currently making the festival rounds and doing quite well


• I am in the upcoming web series "Compulsions" as Randy


• My grandmother turned 91!!!!

I think that catches you up. If I think of anything else...well, I probably won't so I'm sorry I forgot to blog for a quarter-decade. Now to the reason for this post

My wife and I are probably the biggest fans of the musical "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change". To date, we have seen over 10 productions...most were great, some were just good. But, they all had the ablility to keep me in my seat and stayed entertained...until now.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it is written for a cast of 4 (2 Women, 2 Men) and is 24 scenes about relationships starting from a first date to an elderly couple starting again after their loved-ones have past. Sort of "SNL" sketches set to music...but older, funny "SNL" sketches, not this new cast. But I digress.

This past weekend, we purchased tickets to Malibu Stage Rep's production in hopes that we would have a great evening of Theatre. I mean, the tickets were $30 a piece, how bad could it be, right?

OH...MY...GOD!!!

Let me start by saying I am not a professional reviewer, but I know what I like. This is definitely the worst production of theatre I have seen in a long, long time. To say this production is bad is a compliment. We left at intermission so I can only talk about the first Act since I would have performed Hara Kari if I stayed for the second.

First of all, they had a cast of 15...yes, almost 4 times the amount of actors the script calls for. And, the only saving grace on the stage were Julia Holland and Oscar Best. Unfortunately, Julia also produced, but I am not sure how much power the producer has at this theater so I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

There were some actors that were truly trying, like Jay Tando, Regina Wilson and Shawn Cortel, but with the lack of talent they were performing against, there was really no way they were able to save their scenes. Besides, with the lack of direction, I am sure most of the issues with the play were the director's fault.

To say this show had any direction would be the equivalent of a teenager texting on the autobahn in reverse. Most of the scenes were overtly sexual without reason, the cast was stumbling through (if not ad libbing) most of the script (one cast member was constantly mugging and 'throwing' her jokes out to the audience, making the jokes sink), the set changes between scenes took WAY too long...so long the gentleman beside me asked his daughter what the 'through-line' of the show was.

At one point, it looked as if there was a riff between two cast members on stage. One actor seemed to be 'pulling focus' in the scene, then later, in that same scene, was smacked hard in the chest AND the back by his fellow actor. If it was blocked that way, the actor's did not do a good job of making that part of their character. I know the audience members around me were uncomfortable, and we shouldn't be.

Looking over the bios of the cast, it is obvious that the theater company wanted to showcase their actors, and that is all fine and dandy, just make sure your cast/company is talented enough for the show you are putting on.

I could go on and pick out each actors performance, but I know as an actor we all have bad performances from time to time. It is just a shame that all these actors had theirs in the same show. And shame on the director for putting up this production and selling it as entertainment.

I am sorry I had to rant, but theatre is near and dear to my heart. I keep hearing that people don't go and see theatre in Los Angeles. If productions like this are constantly the norm, theaters will no longer pull in the audiences, will be forced to close their doors, and we as a community will all suffer. Force your local theaters to put up great works and we all win.

Alright, so I am back. My only hope is that you come back. Look for most things about my trials and tribulations trying to make it in this show business. See you soon!!!