A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 37)

At Least The Audience Was "Lucid"

We had the second screening of "Lucidity" at the Friends of Film function in Pacific Palisades. We were lucky enough to be screened with two award winning films: "American Blackout" and "Cries from Ramah". "Blackout" is a documentary about voter tampering in the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections, following Senator Cynthia McKinney and her battle with her fellow constituents. "Cries" is a short film about two mothers who meet at a police station; one is the mother of an Israeli soldier and the other is a Palestinian whose son hangs out with the wrong crowd. Both are very touching and thought provoking. The director of "Cries", Loren E. Chadima, was in the audience and I got to talk to her about her film. It has the possibility to be nominated for an Academy Award for 2006. It was a great evening, and I think the audience really enjoyed themselves.

For a side note, Robin and I went to a medical "fair" where we could get tested for osteoporosis, blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol...the works. It turns out we are healthier than we both thought. I can't remember Robin's numbers, but they were not far from mine, which were:

Height - 5' 10"
Weight - 160 lbs
Blood Pressure - 134/74
Cholesterol - Lo (under 150)
Osteoporosis - 0.8 (good)

All in all, I should live to the healthy age of "dear, lord, would you look how old that guy is!"

Bring on the Big Macs.

A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 36)

A REEL Disappointment

Well, we finally got work about our acceptance into the Chicago REEL Short Festival and it was not good:

Dear Sean Spence,

Thank you for submitting your film "Lucidity"to the Chicago International REEL Shorts Festival.Unfortunately we have only so many screenings available and manygood films were unable to make the program.Your film was not one of the 100 films selected for this yearsfestival.We do hope your film has a wonderful festival life and encourageyou to consider submitting your future award winning films to ourfestival in upcoming years.

Best Wishes,

Scott and Nels

It was actually funny; I have been trying to contact them for a couple of weeks with no response at all. I was seeing a lot of my MySpace friends get accepted and yet no one was hearing about rejections. I assumed earlier in the week that no news was bad news.

Oh well, we are not doing that bad so far. Out of the 5 festivals we have heard from, we have been accepted into 2 (40% is not that bad in my book). We will be hearing from New York by the first of October and hopefully that will push us back up to 50%.

A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 35)

If A Writer Falls In The Woods...

For those of you who have seen both "The Adventures of Mapboy" and "Lucidity", you know that dialogue is not my strong point. The fact that I wrote the latter with no words (and the hardest part of that script was what to write on the letter) should have been your first clue. I know my weaknesses, and trust me when I say my writing dialogue couldn't lift a 5 pound weight over it's head.

I was talking to my acting teacher about this and he told me the reason I can't write dialogue is because I don't think I can write dialogue. He brought up a good point; most of the television shows, sitcoms especially, are not written well. If you sat down and really counted how many laughs you audibly had during any one sitcom to how many laughs the studio audience had, you might have one or two, compared to the audience laughing after every line. The laugh track seems to make the show (and the writing) better than it actually is. I tried this and now I can't ever watch "Friends" again.

The great thing is he offered to let me try my skills in his class. If I want to, I can write scenes for my fellow actors and see if, when they perform them, my words work or not. What a great opportunity to fall on my face. I have already written two scenes and sent them to my teacher. It will be interesting to see if we use them in my class any time soon.

A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 34)

My Night At The Festival

I have to say that the screening of "Lucidity" at the Arclight Theater in Hollywood for the 10th Annual Los Angeles Intl. Short Film Festival should have made me nervous but I was pretty composed the whole day. I think it was because I went to work and didn't spend all day (like last year) sitting through film after film in anticipation to mine. Or, maybe, it was because I was afraid of what I was going to see on the big screen (like last year) that might make me question ever going to one of these festivals again.

Robin and I arrived at the theater about an hour and a half before our screening time of 10:00 PM. After taking some photos for prosperity, then being told that it was against the policy of the theater to take photos inside, we decided that it might be better to watch our block of films drunk, so we ponied up to the bar and ordered two $6 Corona Light beers. Trying to make sure we savored each sip, hoping that would make us feel better about squandering the amount it would take to put 4 gallons of gas in our car, we sat at the lounge by two ladies with their sons, Dante and Dylan. The ladies were extremely nice to us, and their sons were like any other 14 month olds. After countless games of 'peek-a-boo' with Dylan, we found out his mom, Annalisa, was married to the coordinator of the whole festival. She was nice enough to take one of our promotional postcards of "Lucidity", not that her husband could really do anything for us, and then it was time to head toward our theater.

We were in Theater #12, the same theater that "The Adventures of Mapboy" was screened the previous year. Hopefully, the films shown in this block would be better than those screened here 365 days prior. As we walked into the theater, we noticed that the theater was pretty empty. It was 9:45 and it looked as if only the filmmakers had shown up to see what their film looked like on the big screen. Did anyone promote their own film? Luckily, people started to fill the 250 seat theater, and by the time the moderator introduced herself and welcomed everyone, the theater was about half full. Out of everyone we invited, only one friend showed up, but by the end of our program we would have nobody in the audience.

The lights went down around 10:10 PM, and the program commenced. "Lucidity" was first to go (after a couple of commercials for the film festival). I knew I was in trouble when I saw the first frame and there was no sound. The sound came on a split second after that, but I have music prior to the first 'picture' frame, so I was a little bummed. For the rest of the 4 minute short the audience seemed involved, which was a plus for me. The credits started and I heard some comments from the men behind me ("Wasn't Lucas' first film about suicide?"). Was I being compared to George Lucas? Or maybe they have a filmmaker friend named Lucas, who knows. All of the sudden, the screen went black. The audio was still playing, but there was no more credits. I was having a flashback to last year when "Projector Light ON" was displayed over the ending credits of "Mapboy". I felt bad that the musicians and the 'special thanks' did not get recognized on the screen, but at least there weren't any problems with the film being screened. It looked great, it sounded great, and I was very happy with the way it was received by the audience.

Then I was in Hell.

Before I go on a rampage, you have to understand two things: I give credit to anyone who is willing to make a movie that is going to be judged on the big screen by their peers, and I truly want to like EVERY short film I see.

That said, the second short of the night was "Blood Ties", a UCLA Student film about...well, I am not really sure what it was about. There is a detective looking for someone for some reason in some city. After finding out that the man he is after is his father, he shoots his brother (who is his father's bodyguard) and then is killed by his father. Did I mention the uncomfortable feeling that his sister and him seem to be attracted to each other? Well, that didn't really have much to do with the storyline, anyway. Also, there was a watch which signified something. There was 15 minutes I'll never get back again.

The third film, "The Time Box", was a complete mess. Mostly "Master shots" (no close-ups and very little editing) and some of the worst acting I have ever seen. I could go on about how bad this short film was, but I don't want to waste any more of your time (unlike the 16 minutes of sanity that I lost watching this).

Then came "Pinkerton", the BEST film in our program. A story of a cop chasing a thug to the rooftop of a building. He tackles the perp, handcuffs him to the railing, takes out a gun and shoots at the stairwell behind him. After telling the criminal "You missed", he drops the gun, pulls out another and points it at the man. Then it got fun; the cops sees his childhood friend, a big costumed-character bear with purple hair named Pinkerton, who stands between him and the man who killed his partner. Telling him he should be happy because it is February and the sun is out so they should do their "Happy February Sun" dance, they begin to dance on the rooftop. All the while, the perp can't see the cops childhood friend and thinks this guy has lost it. After dancing and laughing, Pinkerton and the cop fall to the ground and share some Gingersnaps. The film then flashes back to when the cop is about to shoot the thug and decides to let him go. After uncuffing him, the thug knocks the cop down and grabs his gun. He shoots the cop 6 times, but it looks as if he missed him. The cop grabs the other gun he was going to use to frame the criminal and tells him to get out of here. We then see Pinkerton behind the cop with a trail of stuffing leading up to him. With stuffing coming out of his chest, Pinkerton tells the cop to always remember the Happy February Sun dance, then dies. The End. The audience totally enjoyed this film, and I do not understand how it was lumped with some of the films on our block.

The audience then had to suffer through "French Bomber Detective", "Transfiguration", and "The Shadow and The Mirror". Trust me, you do not want to know anything more about these films. After the audible groaning from the audience, the films were over and it was time to walk to the front for the Q and A. Before I walked up, I turned to Robin and told her that I forgot our film was even in this block. Since ours was first, and the shortest, it was hard to remember that it was even shown. It didn't help that the evening ended with garbage, too. The Q and A was uneventful, just a couple of questions were asked, and then we were in the car heading home.

I wish I could say it was a great evening and I was happy with the turnout, but it wasn't and I wasn't. Even though our film was liked, I think our film, as well as "Pinkerton", should have been screened with actual filmmakers who don't just grab a video camera from Costco and improv a movie. It kind of turns the whole festival into a farce. But that is my opinion.

So Much News, So Little Time

I was sitting here at my computer wondering what to write about: The long awaited photo of Suri Holmes-Cruise? Rosie O'Donnell's first day of inappropriate comments on "The View"? Katie Couric's first day succeeding Bob Schieffer on the "CBS Evening News"? Will Kirby, the best player ever on "Big Brother - All Stars" being voted off the show by the single vote of Janelle Marie Pierzina? No. I tried to figure out what was the most important story so far this week, and I kept coming back to one.

I never really watched "The Crocodile Hunter", but every time I would see Steve Irwin on the television (or hear him on the morning radio), he would always put a smile on my face. He had such a zest for life, and I only wish that one day I have one-tenth of his energy and enthusiasm for life. Even though he only passed yesterday, you can do a search on him and find many different tributes and stories where friends, family and fans share their stories about him. I suggest doing so, and really see what a true celebrity is.

Steve Irwin, you will be missed.

A Working Actor's Lament (Chapter 33)

I'm PISSed...In A Good Way.

So, let me start off by saying that I have been taking audition classes from Brian Reise for about 6 months now. It has been very helpful in showing me that spending thousands of dollars for my "Theater Major" at Ohio State University was a complete waste. I hope the school likes the new wing added to Taylor Tower from my 3 1/2 year donation. "Spence Hall" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

There are many working actors in my class, and the talent level is, on average, average. There are your recent transplants to California from New York, there are the 60 year old women who have so much reconstruction that it is hard to tell if they are emoting, there are stand up comics, musicians, models...you name it. In all seriousness, most of the class is very talented and don't take this whole acting thing serious. They know it is a business and a means to make money. "Do your job and you will get paid...it isn't Shakespeare." So to see the whole class struggle last night was a shock to me.

One of my stand up comedian friends, Gena, had to do a scene from "The New Adventures of Old Christine". It was a three woman scene, and a hard one at that. Let's just say that if they had to hold for their laughs, I would still be in class till Labor Day. It was painful to watch. Another scene with a talented actor crashed and burned, but I blame the teacher on casting a 60+ woman as the Glenn Close role in "Fatal Attraction". Not the most pleasant thing to hear her say she is keeping the baby and not having an abortion. "Stop have sex, Clara Peller!!!"

Of course, we can't forget about the group of 4 guys who did a scene from "Everybody Loves Raymond". Especially the guy who played Ray's brother...poorly. Let's just say I have a newfound respect for Brad Garrett. I would say I sucked, but that wouldn't begin to explain the garbage that was being projected from my mouth. That is not saying that my fellow actors on stage with me didn't have their demons, too. Some jokes landed, but most fell flat. I just think everyone was off their game...but that is why we take class, to learn and to mess up there instead of on the set.

Driving home, contimplating a connection between the bumper of my car and every street light, I called up Robin. As we talked, she clicked on the "send/receive" button in our SBC Global email. I have to say I am beginning to believe that every cloud has that silver lining, or at least sterling silver. She began to read me the new email that had just popped into our inbox:


"Dear Sean Spence,

Congratulations! Your short, short film Lucidity has been selected for the 5th Annual Portland International Short Short Film Festival - better known as PISS Fest! This year's festival promises to be biggest and best yet. We are really excited about it and appreciate you being a part of it."

She went on to read the rules and regulations of being accepted, but I really didn't care. We were in the PISS Fest, our second acceptance into the festival circuit.

This wasn't such a bad day, after all.